WELCOME  TO   The Night School!


The Night School

Hard Decisions, Dancing with Change, and Finding What’s Right For You

Intuition & Empathy, Spiritual Wellness

Unlike many people, I’m actually a fan of change.

I used to joke that I was Change’s Whore, always ready to prostrate myself to potential.

Still, even with my propensity for riding whirlwinds, change is bittersweet. Especially when it’s unexpected.

Bend of Ivy Lodge, where I’ll be holding my November gathering this year, just contacted me to book my fifth year of hosting the Deep Magic Retreat. But instead of eagerly signing the contract, something in me whispered pause…

So I took a deep breath and felt into the moment. Since I can get brain-centric (trying to wring decisions from my sometimes indecisive mind), feeling into things is my personal life-hack for connecting with my inner-wisdom. This helps me make decisions aligned with not just my brain but my whole being.

So what the heck does it look like to “feel into” something? 

Begin by noticing how you usually make decisions:

  • Are you a head first decision maker, using your brain to come to the “best” choice?
  • Or do you intuitively leap, following an impulse?
  • Perhaps you do a gut check, seeing how a choice lands in your belly?

Our best decisions are made when we find a balance between these three ways of making choices.

Since I know that I tend to let my brain be a bit of a bully, I pause and feel into my choices, allowing my physical being to be part of the process. Does this choice make my body feel light or heavy? Is my stomach clenching? Are my shoulders relaxed or could they double as earrings?

So what did I do? I put the retreat center contract aside, trying not to actively think about it too much. The next day I repeated the process of feeling into my physical self, feeling into my body, checking in with my core and noticing where I was stiff or tight… and quickly came to the conclusion that something still wasn’t sitting quite right.

Reading a situation, getting a sense of it, allows me to then go back and reconnect intellectually but from a different angle. Instead of thinking “should I or shouldn’t I” or “what are the financial effects of this decision?” I ask: why are my shoulders tight? What is making me feel like crying?

As I asked myself these questions, I looked at the events coming down the pike for 2019 (including leading a retreat in Ireland and the release of my second book) and it became clear that my body knew I was creating a bottleneck; I felt it. For a myriad of reasons, the November 2019 retreat wasn’t going to work.

And then came sadness… resistance… love, Love, LOVE of this retreat. My brain didn’t want to get on board, but my body was already feeling relief knowing I wasn’t going to sign that contract.

This dance between the body and mind, the emotions and energies, is what allows us to make solid decisions. It’s what keeps us in balance. But you have to dance.

You have to fully engage your whole being in your decision making. Click To Tweet

You must step into the paradoxes you might feel as the various parts of you come into alignment and wholeness:

The love balancing the sense of loss. The sadness balancing the new energy rising as future possibilities begin to bubble….

But I’m not gonna tell you about those yet. They’re still wee seeds, dreaming themselves into being.

I can also tell you that it’s an incredibly special time at Herbiary and MaiaToll.com with my first book coming out. I’m getting a little press and podcast action you might wanna check out:

A mention in Forbes, a review in Publisher’s Weekly, and interviews at Motherhouse of the Goddess and Dream Freedom Beauty!

Thank you so much for being a part of our tribe.

Big love—

You might also like